Axioms to Life in the Big Apple

There are a few things that I and others have discovered that are fundamentally true to life in New York City. It is an ever growing list. If you have any that you believe are missing, then by all means let me know.
  1. There is an inverse relationship between the speed of the subway train that you are on and the loudness of the loony on it with you.

  2. The vehicle horn is the de facto official language.

  3. Lane markers are mere decoration. Many thanks to John S. for this, and the next, observation

  4. Pedestrian signs are a waste of electricity, as everyone just walks where they bloody well please (quite amazing given the next fact).

  5. Taxis are suicidal kamikazes.

  6. The asphalt that covers much of NYC is really just the surface skin of a monstrous evil beast (and you just thought it was a comet that killed the dinosaurs, my friend? The truth is much more insidious), to feed the creature opens a pothole and swallows hapless cars and humans alike, sucking them into the dark, hellish depths of its bowels (otherwise known as the Subway) to be digested at its leisure.

  7. There is no good Mexican food in NYC.

  8. However, there is some damn fine pizza.

Last updated: $Date: 2010/07/17 13:54:02 $